A Description of a Really Nice Sausage
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
  Examination. So what the hell is wrong with America? Despite damn well knowing she is a devout Christian nation, she insists on granting religious frauds like John Kerry near-credibility in races with he who should be carrying away 100% support, our own divine-righted despot, George W. Bush, may God bless him forever. Did you hear his response to the question of homosexuality in the last debate? Kerry the softie declares that wanton hedonists can no more control their wicked, perverted behavior than a slobbering dog — and I shouldn't really be angered, I know — for people like Kerry the tug of even the most venial temptations is too great to be rationally resisted, and he may very well, in his heart congested with sin and woe, believe that men and women faced with sin have no choice — and that is our great tribulation, brothers and sisters: having to understand our enemy at the same time we vanquish them — sympathize with the sinners, for they deserve our pity, but also destroy them, for America cannot and shall not abide the kind of girlie-man morality that refuses to condone the justified killing of abortionists and homosexuals, hellbound.

And so I have sinned, fair readers, please bear with the Scrip, for in our righteous hatred we have overlooked the sanctity of America, we have forgotten her infallibility, as the Chosen Nation of God, and we assumed something was wrong, when obviously we are merely undertaking yet another test from the Almighty, a judgment on our righteousness, which we must not fail. Given the tests of the past twelve years, I can only think that Our God is a most righteous Proctor, a true Revelatory Incarnation of No Child Left Behind, dedicated to test often and test early his chosen people. But remember, Scrip readers — that we must not fail, or God's righteous federal dollars will be withheld from us.
So what the hell's wrong with America? What the hell's wrong with you? Dont' you realize this isn't a chistrian country? Sure there are a lot of christians in it but that doesn't make it christian. Ever hear of the first amendment? i bet you haven't but it says that people have the freedom to worship and blieve what they want so stop acting like everyones gotta believe george W. Bush is the shit when he's not.


Huh. I feel bad even answering, but — you realize that was just parody, right? Satire? Disingenuousness from a hack?

By the way, spell-check, while he may not be your friend, is at least your probation officer — you should check back with him often and frequently. Read some more. Think before you write. Stop being a consumer of opinions and be a manufacturer of them.

Wash behind your fucking ears.

Thanks for reading,
ur a jerk
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Location: Toledo, Ohio, United States

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